Pen Pal Program

Click here for our pen pal interest and signup form!

Flying Over Walls runs a pen pal program to help strengthen our communities across the walls. Starting a pen pal relationship can seem intimidating, but this is the clearest way we can build connection and resist the violence of the prison industrial complex. Plus it’s fun to make new friends!

See below for some guidelines on things to consider before you begin a pen pal relationship (adapted from ABO Comix and Black & Pink). 

Many of our inside members want pen pals, and we can do our best you with a pen pal who shares your interest/identity/hometown etc. if that is a priority to you. 

Still interested? We’d love to hear from you! Please fill out the form above and someone will be in touch. <3 You can also email us at penpal@flyingoverwalls.org

Things to Consider Before Writing:

  • Why do I want to write to someone in prison?
  • What hopes do I have for this friendship?
  • What is my capacity and commitment? 
  • How might I deal with hearing about the prison system and traumatic things that happen on the inside?
  • What assumptions or prejudices do I carry about incarcerated people?
  • What support system do I have in place for myself and for my new penpal?
  • How do I navigate any safety or boundary concerns that may arise?
  • Am I over the age of consent in my state/country to correspond with currently-incarcerated people?

Things to Know About Prisoner Mail:

  • Mail call happens in public spaces in prison. Receiving mail is a reminder to the recipient, guards and other prisoners that people on the outside care and can be a vital harm reduction tool for people who are incarcerated.
  • Mail is read by prison staff before being distributed to its recipients. Be careful about what you write!
  • Most prisons have heavy restrictions on what can be received in the mail. Check the facility’s website for more information, but do not include: tape, glue, staples, glitter, construction paper, crayon, Polaroids, or any explicit sexual content/nudity or references to radically political or illegal activity.
  • Be prepared for a delay! The mail system can be slow inside prisons.
  • Our members are in California, and many are able to use an online mail system called Getting Out. This can be a great option if snail mail sounds like too much of a hassle. Ask your pen pal if they are open to it, for many, it’s preferred! 

Friendly Suggestions:

  • If you are able to, consider using a post office box to send and receive mail.
  • Be transparent about your boundaries, comfort level and how often you can correspond.
  • Photos are universally loved and can do a lot to brighten up the day of a person in prison! Consider sending photos of animals, nature or even a cute selfie if you feel comfortable!
  • You may have easier access to information than someone in prison and being able to research something for your penpal can be a huge help!

Mutual Respect:

  • We do not ask our inside members for anything related to their crime/conviction in order to respect their privacy, and hope you will do the same! Sometimes people in prison will volunteer this information but some may not wish to discuss it. 
  • Please do your best to offer compassion, patience and friendship to your new penpal. We are hoping to build relationships that uplift our community and help us all grow, learn, adapt and thrive. 
  • If you have hesitations or are feeling uncomfortable with your correspondence, reach out to us! We are here for you no matter what!